Little Hospital of Horrors

knee with tensor bandage, walker, medicine container and cardboard urinal

Good afternoon Beloved Sentients. Just a brief update on my recovery status post second knee replacement operation that took place last Wednesday. Here is the scenario in point form as best as I can recall:

• Arrived on time at day surgery. About 8 other patients waiting. Showed in after half an hour. Hooked up to IV. Did not get “Ativan” as I had requested and as I had received at this point before first knee was done. My anxiety level started to rise.
• I will skip all the preparatory procedures up to the point where I have the big “leg block” needle in my left thigh. This was more painful than last time but I was holding strong. Wheeled into OR about five minutes late. Asked nurses and doctors when was I going to get the “relaxant” that I had had first time and needed for my anxiety disorder. One said: “Don’t worry you’ll get lots of happy meds.”
• Woke up from surgery and went to recovery room. Very hungry had cheese and crackers. Could not feel either foot for about 40 minutes then tingling sensation slowly returned.
• After couple hours wheeled into dorm room with two other patients–one on either side. Looking forward to good long sleep. Nurse gave me one tab of hydromorphone opioid for pain and two melatonin for sleep. I asked about the melatonin because I had never had that before and did not know how it would affect me. Was told the “Nurse Practitioner” had prescribed it.
• Settled in for sleep around supper time. Could not fall asleep–in fact I got a buzz likely from the melatonin. I asked the nurse when I was going to get a sleeping pill and she said “We don’t give those out anymore” Just melatonin. I said I’ve never taken melatonin before and people in my family have told me it keeps them awake!. Nobody could prescribe me anything to help me sleep and the pain was getting worse. I asked when my next dosage of hydromorphone was scheduled. Nurse said none was scheduled–just whenever I decided I wanted another one–it was up to me! I said “Why didn’t anyone tell me that?! I’ve been lying here waiting in pain for hours for another dose. And the nurse said you have to ask for it PRN now. Things have changed…but no apologies for nobody telling me about the “change”.

• Got my second dose of hydromorphone and then asked for it every four hours after that–same as I had received it automatically the first time. Middle of the night I had to pee very badly. Asked the nurse to come and help me to the washroom about 8 feet away. Nurse told me things had changed. She could not help me to the washroom anymore. I had to pee in a urinal which she gave me [see photo of sample above]. I had never seen anything like this before and was very skeptical about its functionality. Cardboard?! In sheer desperation I tried to pee in the urinal and peed, and peed, and peed…it completely flowed over the urinal and sloshed onto my gown my bedding and the pad underneath me. I was soaked. I called for the night nurse who’s name was Joanne but who I privately called “Nurse Ratched”. She was very dismissive of my plight. Even after being soaked I still had to pee and demanded to be taken to the washroom [holding on to my IV stand which is on wheels and has a gripper]. She finally agreed to help me and I finally completed my toilet.

• I told Nurse Ratched as she was cleaning up my bed that I had read a report recently about the incidence of sepsis rising dramatically in Canadian hospitals in the past few years and said: “NOW I KNOW WHY!” She did agree with me [on the incidence of sepsis rising in hospitals] As regular readers know, my beloved two years older brother died of sepsis poisoning during routine treatment for prostate inflammation in March of 2022. I was having a traumatic flashback to this as she was cleaning up the urine from my completely soaked bed.

• I still could not sleep and was awake the entire 24 hours + I was in the hospital. I told the nurses and they each blamed the other for the melatonin prescription. I asked why, if I was responsible for my own hydromorphone dosage was I not responsible for my melatonin dosage? No answer to that “smoking gun” question. The only thing the nurses have become more skilled at in hospitals is “passing the buck”. They are excellent at that!

• The next morning I interacted somewhat with the patients on either side of me. On the right side was a Chinese woman who did not speak a word of English but who liked to play classical Chinese music on her tablet. The man in the bed on my left, “Mark” finally asked the nurse to ask her to stop. I was not going to get involved in that brouhada after making such a stink during the middle of the night over peeing my bed.

• Mark and I got talking. He was a British Columbian in his early 50’s who told me he had worked as an “industrial painter” [painting boats and buildings] and had come in twelve days ago for a hip replacement. He was quite overweight–close to 300 lbs I would say. He never got out of bed the entire time I was there. He told me that after the hip replacement operation he was wheeled to the recovery room where, in his words, his “femur exploded”. He was then immediately wheeled back into the operating room where multiple rods and pins where inserted into his femur to hold it together. The nurses just kept giving him pain relief and he went to the bathroom in the cardboard urinals I presume. I felt very sorry for Mark. He said he was scheduled to be moved out to a rehab facility in the Fraser Valley to recover and there was no time given for such recovery. I know from many years of experience that if one does not get out of bed in a hospital one is hooped as they say. One can go downhill and infections will invariably set in. I didn’t ask any more questions but just told Mark that I would keep him in my thoughts and prayers for a very speedy and complete recovery.

• I asked to speek with the top person in charge on the ward who they called the “Nurse Praticitioner”. she came and I rhymed off all the malpractice/carry on on the ward and ended up by saying: “And I even heard a rumour that you’re going to try and take my tensor bandage away from me!” She looked a bit sheepish and said: “Well, yes, we usually remove that from the patient now before discharge.” I asked why and she said: “Because they don’t need it.” I replied: “Well, I will go to the wall before you take my tensor bandage off my leg! She asked me why I needed it and I replied that it was my “security blanket”. The last time when I had my first knee done there was no discussion whatsoever about taking the tensor bandage off and leaving the wound with just gauze over it. She knew when to back off! Can you imagine? Taking a bandaid off someone’s leg prior to discharge? OMG Get me OUTTA HERE!

• But After hearing Mark’s story, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and just concentrated on getting the hell out of there as soon as possible. Luckily and by no coincidence, the nurses wanted me out of there soon as well! I was calling them out on all the malpractice and negligence going on around me. Yes, folks, the greencrow was a real bitch! lol

Hubby came to get me at noon the following day as arranged and I got into the wheelchair and beat it outta there like a bat out of hell. Stay tuned!